why are we in such a hurry to get our little ones to grow up?
from the very beginning we push them to be independent & face life on their own.
(the following are just examples...
our family doesn't agree w or do all of these things)
we put infants in their cribs in the other room to cry themselves to sleep, expecting them to know how to handle being away from mommy & daddy.
we wean them from nursing & put them on bottles & solid foods too quickly, when their little bodies aren't ready to handle it yet.
we pressure them to go potty on the toilet when they don't really get it & are still quite dependent on us.
we send them off to "school" where they are away from the securities of home & are forced to figure things out on their own... they may not be coming to the right conclusions in their heads as they face challenges.
we tune them out when they are asking us silly, maybe annoying questions, but they are quite curious & are looking for answers.
(our sweet jude got bit up by mosquitoes in africa. :( )
they need us close. they are learning what life is all about. they are afraid & unsure often. let's walk through difficult things (even things that we don't think should be difficult) with them, teaching them all the way.
let them be little & dependent & carefree.
we are their primary teachers... especially in these first years. teach them how to handle life & this big world... or someone else will. don't make them figure it out on their own. it's OUR responsibility. they've been entrusted to us.
may we be found faithful.
mike & i are not pros by any means, but we are learning by the grace of God!
3 things we have found that help our boys feel more safe...
*we explain what new things they will be facing. we talk to them a lot about it. jude is just now getting to the age where he will ask us questions about what we're explaining. even if it seems like they're too young to understand... setting up the habit in your family that you talk about things & letting them know they can ask whatever questions they want. we also don't tell them about new things but the day before or maybe on the way to whatever we're doing. we don't want to add fear by them having days to think about what it's going to be like.
*not pushing them to try new things & it's ok to stay close to mommy & daddy. there have been times that i've gotten frustrated that jude didn't want to try something that i thought would be so much fun for him. but there will be plenty of time for fun stuff. let them do things in their own time.
*we do new things (& even old things) with them. they feel much safer w mommy & daddy holding their hand & smiling back at them.
as they get older the Lord will direct us on how to help them be more independent. we should teach them closely as they learn to handle things without mommy & daddy. i think the above challenges will happen at different ages for every child.
may we listen closely to the Lord's leading.
how do you help your little ones handle "growing up"?
al
