A Tribute to my Lady

Hi. I’m Mike. Husband to the author of afterhissmile.com.  Al and her sister have been in NYC visiting her other sister.  So I have been barely getting by without her tending the home front since Saturday. I have hacked into her website to share some observations I’ve compiled from our experiences over the last 3ish days as a tribute to my wife.

I am far less patient with our boys when it’s just me and them.  It never lets up.  The only time I’ve had for myself is nap time and bed time.  And during those times, I’m trying to clean the house up.

Two crazy boys are more difficult than just one.  I know it sounds like simple arithmetic: 1+1=twice as hard.  But it’s not arithmetic.  We’re dealing with exponents and logs and calculus stuff.

The time I spend as their sole caregiver corresponds directly to their readiness to disobey me. I thought Dad was above the fray when it came to getting his kids to obey.  I now understand that I’m just around them less so they haven’t tested me as much.

It’s incredibly difficult to keep a teething toddler (who doesn’t like to watch TV) happy.  No lie, at this moment I’m typing with my right hand and holding a screaming little boy in the other (father of the year right here).  I wasn’t planning for such a short nap.  He’s crying “Momma” now:(

I can’t keep our house clean.  It’s ridiculous.  I was going to post pictures, but I’ll be lucky if I can even get this thing posted.  I’ve been staying up ‘til midnight trying to catch up.  That’s a nice segue into…

My boys’ understanding of “tired” differs greatly from mine.  I feel like I can barely make it through the day while they run at full speed until they collapse, unconscious, in their beds.  Their tired also involves crankiness, tears, and tantrums (maybe we’re not so different after all)

It takes at least an hour longer to leave the house than I anticipated.  There’s always one more toy on the ground, dirty dish, full diaper, shoeless foot, forgotten snack.

Kids’ capacity to get lost in a crowd is nearly limitless.  We went to the children’s museum yesterday (bad idea if you live in Memphis and it happens to be MLK day).  The parking lot was nearly full, so I warned Jude to stay close before we even went in.  I answered one text from Al and he was gone.  I found him after three of the longest minutes of my life. 

So I’m sure none of this is news to those of you who are with your kids all day, but it was new to me.  This entry is surely not as eloquent or clever as most of you are used to, but it is true.  My wife is amazing.  She wrangles these crazy boys, takes care of me, and still finds beauty to share with others every day.  I love you Mrs. Barker.  Don’t leave me again soon…or ever.